Speed Dating Tips & Advice
Speed dating tips for men
Look the Part
In an environment like speed dating, you want to look your best, so dress up smartly and look the part!
Concentrate on conversation, rather than just on getting a second date
Most women want to know what kind of person you are before deciding whether or not they'd like to see you again. Make an effort to get to know her too and you'll make a better impression that way. One of the most frequent mistakes people make is that they dominate a conversation - remember, it's not all about you!
Laugh and the World Laughs with You
People love being around charismatic people because they seem to spread good feelings. Get yourself into the right state of mind for making a fun and outgoing impression and go for it. Feel good about yourself and others will feel good about you.
Give genuine compliments - but don't over do it!
There's nothing worse than someone dishing out over-the-top lines. Everyone has something great going for them - all you have to do is notice that and compliment them genuinely.
Keep Your Hands to Yourself and Respect Their Space
Some people can be considered 'space invaders'. Even when engaging in a casual chat they just seem to get too close. Some women love the tactile approach and have no objection to 'touchy feely' encounters, others are horrified by it. Respect the person until you have figured out more about her. Touching can be an effective, flirty action, but should be confined to the arms or resting the hand just above the arms and NOT touching, until you know more.
There's no point assuming a role you think someone wants you to play because you'll get found out sooner or later. Be proud of who you are and if you aren't sure how you are at your best, you might want to do some work on it.
Speed Dating Tips for women
First of all, don't give out any personal details!
Speed dating is a great way to meet single guys. Its fun, it's fast and most importantly, it's safe. Help to keep it that way by not giving out any personal information during your speed dates. This includes last name, telephone number and email address. If you tick his box, and he also shows an interest in you, you will be given all the details you need in order to catch up again!
Look the Part
In this sort of environment you want to look your best! See our special section on what to wear while speed dating - The Speed Dating Dress Code.
Give Clear Signals
Men are notoriously bad at interpreting signals from women. Know what you want when you flirt and make sure your signals are clear and that they convey what you mean. If you genuinely want to meet people then by all means flirt, just make sure you know how to separate the sexual flirting signals from the 'hi, I'm friendly' flirting signals.
Laugh and the World laughs with You
People love being around charismatic people because they spread good feelings. Get yourself into the right state of mind for making a fun impression and go for it. Feel good about yourself and others will feel good about you.
Like your mother said, if you haven't got anything nice to say - don't say anything at all... but don't get up and leave!
I'll illustrate this point with a story: A little while ago we had a russian immigrant attend one of our Sydney events. Although he had a PhD he had found it difficult to find a job in his field and was driving a cab to make ends meet. When he arrived at one of our female guest's table she asked him what he did for a living (a no no in itself, see below) and promptly got up and went to sit at the bar when she found out he drove a taxi. Not only is this kind of behaviour deeply insulting to the man, it's just plain wrong.
It's almost inevitable that some of the people you meet will not be right for you, but they are human beings and deserve your respect and courtesy. They've paid to meet you too!
Be Interesting by Being Interested
Cut down the talk about yourself and ask him open-ended questions. Find out about him - after all people generally enjoy talking about themselves and feel flattered when someone shows an interest in them.
Jay Abrahams, the famous marketing expert, tells the story of a conversation he had with a stranger in a bar. He introduced himself and said that he was in Sydney to do a lecture tour. He then asked the stranger "What brings you to Sydney?"
An hour later the man got up to leave. "You know Mr Abrahams" he said, "You are one of the most interesting people I have ever met". Jay recounts that during the entire hour the only words he spoke were those of his introduction and his first question!
People like people who are interested in them. You don't have to shut up entirely but when you engage someone in conversation make sure you spend at least 60% of the time listening to THEM!
Ask Him What He Enjoys Doing
Women and men often tend to fall back on the line 'What do you do'? To some men, this can smack of 'checking for wallet-padding'. Not everyone is doing work they love and the question may put them on the spot. Men are much more activity orientated than women. Asking them what they enjoy doing in their life will allow you to find out more about what makes them tick.
There's no point assuming a role you think someone wants you to play because you'll get found out sooner or later. Be proud of who you are and if you aren't sure how you are at your best, you might want to do some work on it. There are plenty of courses and self-help books out there, or you can chat to Tina our very own Life Coach.
What to Wear, What NOT to Wear!
The Speed Dating Dress Code...
The dress code is the stylish end of smart-casual and that can encompass anything from dressy jeans to a not-too fancy cocktail dress. Here are a few straightforward tips to help you dress well for a speed date:
Wear appropriate makeup
Make-up should enhance your features, not hide them. Be sure to use shades that match your natural skin tone. Contrary to popular belief, men DO actually notice when your neck is a different colour to your face. Aim to look like a natural beauty that wakes up looking that way, not the result of a 3 coat paint job.
If it doesn’t fit, don’t wear it
Although squeezing your DD boobs into a skimpy size 8 top might be good for your ego, it’s not good for your respiration. Nor should you hide your shape behind billowy clothes that make you look like you’re about to set sail.
Wear Realistic Shoes
If you’re driving or cabbing it to speed dating, you can wear the sexiest, most impractical high heels you’ve got. After all, in speed dating it’s the men that move around while you stay seated. If you’re walking far or taking public transport you should think about wearing moderately comfortable shoes. Although Carey from Sex and the City might look perfectly comfortable tramping around Manhattan in 6 inch Manolo’s, that’s because she’s a fictional character. You want to focus on your speed dating, not how much your feet hurt
Wear sexy underwear
You’ll feel like a femme fatale! If you feel sexy while speed dating, you’ll come across that way too.
Don’t over dress
Although you’re unlikely to impress anyone in track pants and thongs, you’ll look a little ridiculous turning up speed dating in a sparkling golden ball gown, with pearl necklace and a tiara. The dress code is the stylish end of smart-casual. That can encompass anything from dressy jeans to a cocktail dress.